Stop letting intellectualized Emotions determine your decisions.

Stop intellectualized emotions guiding your decisions
stop intellectualized emotions guiding your decisions

“Intellectualized emotions” serve as a defense mechanism in which a person prefers to deal with emotional conflicts by spending excessive time intellectually dissecting and reasoning them, instead of feeling them. Using reason and logic to separate oneself from the emotional aspects of a situation is a common symptom of this inclination.

It may be difficult for someone who intellectualizes emotions to recognize or acknowledge them; instead, they may prefer to approach emotions cognitively, a defense mechanism to protect themselves from negative emotions.

It may put a barrier between your thoughts and feelings and you feel emotionally numb or detached from an outside trigger. As a result, it also hinders emotional processing, impairs relationships, and makes communicating and managing emotions harder.

Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, described intellectualization as a defense mechanism to distance oneself from difficult emotions by excessively focusing on abstract thoughts or rational explanations.

Example of intellectualized Emotions

Let’s say you are going through a breakup with your significant other. You intellectualize emotions by concentrating only on examining the reasons for the breakup, rather than letting yourself experience the pain and grief that come with a relationship ending.

For instance, you may say anything along these lines:

“I understand that our priorities and goals for the future differed which is why our partnership ended. It’s evident that there were some personality conflicts between us, which finally resulted in our decision to break up.”

While these observations may be valid, your primary focus on intellectualizing the breakup serves as a defense mechanism to avoid experiencing the full weight of your emotions, thinking these intellectualized emotions might temporarily protect you from emotional pain.

Effects of Intellectualized Emotions

Constantly intellectualizing emotions without facing unpleasant feelings can become toxic. This suppression of emotions will intensify by bottling up inside you over time and will explode later in scary ways like mental health issues; anxiety, mood disorders, and panic attacks.

Here are some effects of intellectualized emotions;

Emotional Disconnect.

When you intellectualize emotions, you might find connecting with your true feelings hard. For example, instead of feeling sad when a friend cancels plans, you might think about their reasons and analyze the situation without acknowledging your disappointment.

Difficulty in Relationships.

When you do not fully express your emotions, others might find it hard to understand or feel close to you. For instance, if you always talk about your feelings detachedly, your partner might feel distanced or hard to connect with you emotionally.

Limited Self-Understanding.

If you ignore your feelings and solely concentrate on intellectualizing them, you may miss out on significant self-discoveries. For example, you may fail to recognize the need for assistance or time to grieve if you never let yourself experience the full depth of your pain following a loss.

Suppressed Growth.

You may not be able to develop and learn from your experiences if you have intellectualized emotions. If you never let yourself experience the hurt of rejection, for instance, you may not develop healthy coping mechanisms and continue to repeat the same patterns in your relationships.

Increased Stress

Analyzing and justifying your feelings all the time might wear you out mentally. For instance, if you’re constantly trying to understand why you’re feeling a specific way rather than letting yourself experience it, you may get more anxious and feel more overwhelmed by physical problems.

Signs of Intellectualized Emotions

Here are some signs of intellectualizing emotions,

Stuck on the Facts

You repeatedly play back the specifics of a scenario, much like a broken record. You don’t feel the emotions surrounding it; instead, you just concentrate on what happened and not how it affected you.

Undermining your Emotions

When you downplay your feelings, you’re telling yourself they don’t matter. This can make you think they are unimportant or not worth your time.

Overthinking

One technique to keep yourself from experiencing those feelings is to overthink things. Instead of acknowledging them and letting them happen organically, you can perform constant mental acrobatics in an attempt to analyze and comprehend every facet of the circumstance.

This can involve going over previous incidents, again and again, examining possible outcomes, and attempting to rationally or logically defend your feelings.

Avoidance With humor

A common coping strategy to lift one’s spirits or ease uncomfortable feelings is humor. In many situations, comedy may be a constructive and healthy approach to cope with difficult circumstances. However, comedy can be an indication of intellectualizing emotions if it is regularly employed to avoid dealing with real feelings.

Stop intellectualizing your emotions.

Instead of suppressing or avoiding your feelings, accept them as valid and important aspects of your inner experience. Here are some key steps to learning how to feel emotions:

Emotional Awareness

To prevent emotions from becoming intellectualized, one must be emotionally aware. Emotions can be overly analyzed or rationalized, but one can prevent this inclination by being aware of one’s feelings and accepting them without passing judgment.

Seek to establish a more profound connection with your emotions rather than intellectualizing them away. Communicate your emotions through creative endeavors, journaling, chatting with a close friend, or journaling.

Somatic exercises

Somatic exercises connect the body and emotions. Search online for various options. Vocalizing, like “vuuuuu,” calms by stimulating the vagus nerve. Breathwork aids emotion release; try Wim Hof’s exercises. Body scans help locate emotions in the body and ground you. Consult medical professionals before trying new exercises alone.

Mindfulness

Meditation is a self-help tool that ensures well-being. Silence observation, grounding meditations, and body scans are effective techniques for processing painful emotions. You can even find meditations tailored to specific emotions. As discussed before, meditation benefits emotional processing.

Journaling

Journaling is a powerful tool for emotional processing. It allows for intellectual analysis followed by letting go. Describe emotions, including physical sensations, colors, shapes, and textures.

Draw if it helps. Then, focus on feeling the emotion and write about it. Close your eyes and observe the emotion without judgment. Notice any changes. This practice enables a sense of safety in processing emotions.

Online Resources To Study Further

  1. How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain
  2. The Emotional Brain: The Mysterious Underpinnings of Emotional Life

  3. Say It Out Loud: Using the Power of Your Voice to Listen to Your Deepest Thoughts and Courageously Pursue Your Dreams

Final Words

Recognize your initial challenges, such as numbness or ambiguity, and remind yourself to trust the process even when it is uncomfortable. While it’s acceptable to doubt progress occasionally, it’s important to learn the benefits of accepting uncertainty.


Let your creativity and intuition lead the way to progress rather than perfection. With more practice, you can better comprehend and bond with your feelings. By appreciating the process’s cerebral and emotional components, you can achieve balance and develop an understanding of your inner feelings. This way, your motions will become easier to access and understand.

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